Untitled

 

To say

To say is to feel and to feel is to break

I broke.

He's reaching for my throat

He's reaching for my hand

To write

To write is to feel and to feel is to break

Well I'm done with breaking, I'm moving on.

You're reaching for my throat

To do is to die and I need to breathe

You're reaching for my hand

To do is to lie and I need to be free

To leave

To leave is to hurt and to hurt is just greed

I left.

She's reaching for my throat

She's reaching for my hand

To stay

To stay is to hurt and to hurt is just greed

Well I'm done with hurting, I'm moving on.

You're reaching for my throat

To do is to die and I need to breathe

You're reaching for my hand

To do is to lie and I need to be free

To fight

To fight is to try and to try is to kill

I killed.

I'm reaching for my throat

I'm reaching for my hand

To give

To give is to try and to try is to kill

Well I'm done with killing, I'm moving on.

Mistake

she took his hand

doesn't realize it's just part of his plan

he says trust me

and she believed, oh believed, she believed

her mistake

she just couldn't see 

how disgusting humanity can be

and now she's empty, empty, empty

it was her mistake

and now she'll never be free

all she can feel is his hands on her body

and he takes, and he takes, and he takes

her mistake

she let him in

now there's bruises on her porcelain skin

but he says love me

and she's happy as can be, as can be, as can be

her mistake

she just couldn't see 

how disgusting humanity can be

and now she's empty, empty, empty

it was her mistake

and now she'll never be free

all she can feel is his hands on her body

and he takes, and he takes, and he takes

her mistake

he threw her aside

she sits back and counts the lies

he says sorry

but now she sees, oh she sees, she sees

her mistake

but she just couldn't leave

oh how disgusting humanity can be

and now she's empty, empty, empty

it was her mistake

and now she'll never be free

she still can feel is his hands on her body

and she breaks, and she breaks, and she breaks

her mistake

Satin and Lace

i was looking forward to a new year

new start, new life and no fear

but it didn't work out quite like i wanted my dear

i keep trying, keep prying your hands from my waist

but your grip is too strong, as i look at your face

remember when the only thing between us was satin and lace

but back to reality, in all actuality

you're gone, you've moved on

to your latest victim

and i guess i'm just gunna coast along

what else can you do when it all goes wrong?

each day dawns with shadows on my face

so it seems i gotta find sunshine some way

but pretty new things like that satin and lace

aren't always promises of happier days

and with that, i'm sinking fast 

one thought of you and i feel myself crash

back to reality, in all actuality

you're gone, you've moved on

to your latest victim

and i guess i'm just gunna coast along

what else can you do when it all goes wrong?

and guess who's still sitting here thinking of you

do you ever even think about what you do

what you did, what you're doing to someone right now

and i know in my heart she's falling apart 

like the million others you've conquered somehow

but back to reality, in all actuality

you're gone, you've moved on

to your latest victim

so i guess i'm just gunna coast along

what else can you do when it all goes wrong?

flashback.

everybody's walkin round holding hands

he stares down at mine, clutching my sides

holding me back, back from love, back from pain

back from falling and crashing once again

the room spins, when i see you

but it's not the love song you're used to

silence decends, it's harder to breathe

i do my best to act calmly

i'm lost in the jungle of my head

and it's him i'm thinking of instead

if i had one wish, would it be for one more kiss

or just not to wince when i think of this?

you give me one more chance, but i have to pull away

while i struggle with this heart attack that's here to stay

i'm fighting this battle all the time

i'm a lost cause, and this problem is all mine

so i, oh, i'm so sorry

but this is no love story

everybody's tryin out romance

but i can't get my barren heart to dance

feel your arms through the pain, feel the drops in the rain,

take a chance to start all over again

there you are, and i feel that tug

but it's not the one you're thinking of

i'm sinking again, and i cant breathe

i'm drowning in my memory

i'm lost in the jungle of my head

and it's him i'm thinking of instead

if i had one wish, would it be for one more kiss

or just not to wince when i think of this?

you give me one more chance, but i have to push you away

while i struggle with this heart attack that's here to stay

i'm fighting this battle all the time

i'm a lost cause, and this problem is all mine

so i, oh, i'm so sorry

but this is no love story

yeah, i'm so, oh sorry

but this is no love story

ghosts

footsteps echo through the empty halls

at least they would if the house wasn't so small

we walk around like friendly ghosts

at least until we come to blows

fake smiles and phony photographs

do absolutely nothing for me

so quit it with your fake laughs

i'm done with being your zombie

don't get so close, i think you know

that you don't want to be a parent now

you never tried, you only lied

it's kinda late to learn that now

keep telling me you've changed

you're done with playing games

like i've never heard that one before

i just don't need what you have in store

don't get so near, i think it's clear

that you're headed to a danger zone

don't hug me close, see how i froze

i'm just so used to being alone

i can't train myself to care

after the struggle of trying not to

when my whole life you weren't there

you can't teach yourself not to be you

so we walk around this house like ghosts

at least until we come to blows

footsteps echo in hypothetical halls

but no one's really there at all

Scars

black, blue, and purple baby

you can paint those nails up

but what about the rest of your hands?

red is not your color

but you might as well get used to it

cause you won't be scrubbing that away

anytime soon

looking in the mirror

falling through the cracks

there's no wonder left in wonderland

and i can't seem to get back

looking in the mirror

and wincing at the sight

you can close your eyes but it won't disappear

wish with all of your might

ghosts drift through your periferal

memories locked in a box

spinning like a merry go round

where the hell do i get off?

pretty pictures in colored books

only show the surface

it takes a pick axe and a giant shovel

to unscramble this worthless picasso

if it doesn't disturb you, it isn't art

so smash me to bits and glue together the parts

breaking the damn mirror to shards

staring you down is what's left of your heart

and you can't get away, run as you might

this is what's left of me tonight

looking in the mirror

falling through the cracks

there's no wonder left in wonderland

and i can't seem to get back

looking in the mirror

and wincing at the sight of him

you can close your eyes but it won't disappear

no it won't disappear

before it's time to fight again

One Of Us Has Got To Go

one of us has got to go, cause i can't go forever

what if bad is good, and good is only good for nothing anyways?

one of us has got to go cause i can't stay away

give me a gun because i'm done with being clever

i clench my teeth so they don't call your name

my hands, they grasp for your skin

i know all you'll ever bring me is pain

but it hurts when i'm with or without him

one of us has got to go, cause the world is oh so wrong

what if every single word has been a lie?

one of us has got to go because with every tear i cry

i don't know how much i can stand to clutch at strong

i clench my teeth so they don't call your name

my hands, they grasp for your skin

i know all you'll ever bring me is pain

but it hurts when i'm with or without him

i'd give my sanity to survive, and that's exactly the price
I know one more touch would kill me, but one more would never suffice

i grind my teeth, or they'll scream out in pain

my hands, they're itching for your skin

i know nothing good ever comes from your name

but it hurts when i'm with or without him

Random Free Verse

There's never any words to write anymore.
Every scrap of my soul flutters out the door,
As the layers of my skin sink to the floor;
I'm naked, I'm sinking, have I been here before?
I'm searching, but I can't seem to find my core.

Believe me, I'm thinking of you my dear;
Even though I don't say so, I still hold you near.
I don't know if this feeling can still be called fear;
I don't know why I hide, I don't know why I tear.
I don't even know why I can't seem to hear.

I go through the motions with my eyes closed tight.
You can't know me, don't you dare ask me to fight.
Even I don't understand my plight.
Believe me, I try with all my might,
But all I've ever really wanted to do is take flight.

I think about going, I think about the world,
I think about the way everything has unfurled.
I think about what I've done and what I've hurdled,
As I think the world spins and deeper I'm twirled.
Maybe it's best to stay permanently whirled?

See what you wish to see, as I hibernate.
Things will be as they'll be; is this fate?
In the long run it doesn't matter what you equate;
Humans will continue to hate, mate and create
As the world around them seems to deflate.

I honestly don't know the point of my rambles
I guess I just felt that seeing how life is in shambles
And I can't say anything without it being a gamble
I might as well post something I fully wrote, instead of just preamble
To the things I post when I want to speak, but my brain scrambles.