Where I Lay

Tell me if you've ever felt a tear in your eye

Tell me if you ever were determined not to cry

Tell me if you ever let go, cause after blow after blow

He finally ripped out your heart and soul

Tell me if you thought you were strong

Tell me if you were ever proved wrong

Tell me if it'd be a lie

If you ever said, no, I don't want to die

Because I think, think I'm losing my mind

And I think after all this time

I think, I think I'm done with the fall

Please let me be at the end of the hole

Tell me if you've pounded your fists

Tell me if that ever brought you justice

Tell me if you want to scream with all your might

But you can't let no one hear you break down at night

Because I think, think I'm falling apart

Can't even feel the beat of my heart

And I think, oh please be done with the struggle

Just let me lie here and crumble

Burning Down

Embers in my skull

Boiling in my chest

Body ready to explode

Skin crawling where you kissed

Venom seeps from lips so red

You couldn't help but touch

Visions dance inside my head

I've never loathed so much

Tearing of my fragile skin

Cracking of my bone

The real pain doesn't begin

Til you get to the soul

You shattered me to a million parts

I'd like to do the same

But obviously you have no heart

That's why the world's aflame

A Different Point Of View - poem

Everyone blames the harlot

For dipping them in a red pool of sin

No one seems to give a thought

To the mess that they've put her in

Twist her face into beauty

Twist it into a devil

Now imagine that this rock is weak

Imagine her as a little girl

Lost down the rabbit hole

Drowning in the riptides of the world

The spider web that was her soul

Slowly, painfully, plucked and unfurled

Every ounce of pleasure you take

Leaves a small tear

Some are bigger, those are the mistakes

The reason why she lives in fear

Everyone looks down on her lot

They could never understand

No matter how hard she fought

This is just where she lands

Lower than the gutter

Though she holds her head high

Every experience cuts her

Every night she cries

She doesn't want to be this way

She can't trust enough to improve

She watches as her life flutters away

And negative voices ring true

The pieces left throb and stab

She lives with this every day

Once you enter this world, there's no going back

So tell me, who's really to blame?

Beyond Repair

I hate this song. It's horrible, and would have been deleted a long time ago, along with the many others i've written, if not for the comments people have written about it.

I never knew what I wanted, okay?

All I know is day after horrible day

I'd close my eyes and wipe the tears away

Maybe I didn't believe in you, but I'd pray

I never believed things could ever get worse

Just surviving til the day I end up in a hearse

Almost believed I could break out of this curse

But oh, was I ever wrong

17 years never felt so long

Everybody tells you life is unfair

It's really like living in a never ending nightmare

There's no right answer and every path trips

Every waking moment just tears my heart to bits

And I'm so sorry, you could never know

I was just trying to get by, didn't mean to hurt you so

We both know things will never be the same

When it comes to life, I'm tired of this game

I gotta go, escape before I go insane

But oh, I can't run that fast

Can't seem to forget my past

Everybody tells you life is unfair

It's really like living in a never ending nightmare

There's no right answer and every path trips

Every waking moment just tears my heart to bits

And I'm so sorry, you could never know

I was just trying to get by, didn't mean to hurt you so

And I know things are broken beyond repair

Guess I just wanted you to know I care

Oh, if you're there

The last thing I wanted was to make you cry

Their Words

I'm sorry mama, I never meant to hurt you.

I never meant to make you cry.

There are many things that I would like to say to you

But I don't know how.

I can tell how much you hate this.

Deep down inside, you know it's killing me.

I can call, wish you well, and try to change this,

But nothing I can say would change anything.

I play my part and you play your game,

Teach me a lesson, maybe I deserve to know.

I think my bones are breaking under black eyes,

And book cases to the sky.

Your voice, it chased away all the sanity in me.

I'm alive, but I'm losing all my drive.

I guess I let you get the best of me,

Cut me down to size, and paralyze me

With the contents of your pretty little head.

We were always meant to say goodbye.

I'm trying my best to let go of you, but I don't want to.

I never wanted this, never wanted to see you hurt.

Every little bump in the road I tried to swerve.

But people are people, and sometimes it doesn't work out.

It's not much, but I know that we've both changed.

My bones have shattered, my pride is shattered.

But in the midst of this self inflicted pain,

I can see my beautiful rescue.

I wish I could save you.

Hear my words that I might teach you,

Take my arms that I might reach you.

But my words like silent raindrops fell,

And echoed in the wells of silence.

It's a shame that it had to be this way.

It's not enough to say we're sorry.

I don't think you're gonna change.

There's just too much that time cannot erase.

You might just as well be blind.

Hope you can deal with all you will never know about me,

What I see, what I believe in, how I breathe, when I weep.

And how I'm better off without you, more than you know.

Songs used:

Cleaning Out My Closet - Eminem

Wonderwall - Oasis

Save You - Kelly Clarkson

You Give Love A Bad Name - Bon Jovi

Words - Darren Hayes

Bad Habit - Gregory and the Hawk

My Immortal - Evanescence

Goodbye - Secondhand Serenade

Over You - Daughtry

Already Gone - Kelly Clarkson

Just So You Know - Jesse McCartney

Breathe - Taylor Swift

Bend or Break - Secret Secret Dino Club

Beautiful Rescue - This Providence

The Sound of Silence - Simon and Garfunkel

Honesty - Billy Joel

All You Will Never Know - Avril Lavigne

These Walls

Laughter and tears take us closer I fear

I can't let this happen once again

See that look in your eyes whenever I'm near

Scares me because I don't want to lose my friend

I have this bad habit of getting too close

It always has to fall apart in the end

By the third time you touched me my heart just froze

Proving me right seems to be the latest trend

I put these walls up for a reason you know

I don't appreciate you just walking in and tearing them down

I don't want to hurt you and I don't want to let you go

Please don't make me say goodbye now

Why do they always have to mess with me

Is it so much to ask for just a friend

You think you're so different but you just can't see

The last thing I need is to be kissed again

I put these walls up for a reason you know

I don't appreciate you just walking in and tearing them down

I don't want to hurt you and I don't want to let you go

So please don't make me say goodbye now

Oh please don't make me

Please don't make me say goodbye now

If Miracles Can Happen

if miracles can happen, i got a little suggestion
though she may fuss and storm and put up a bit of a fight
becayse if miracles can happen people like her deserve it
no matter how much pain she' spread, she's still worth it, right?
if miracles can happen, please let them happen tonight

if miracles can happen, i sure think he could use one
a less willing candidate you couldnt find
but i know if he could see your light it would help a ton
because i think there may be a good guy deep inside
oh if miracles can happen, please let them happen tonight

if miracles can happen, please bless the poor ones
the ones who just can't see through their fright
if miracles can happen, please dig down deep
because the earth is full of hurting souls tonight

if miracles can happen, i know someone who needs it
though she tries and tries her world just falls apart
because if miracles can happen, maybe you can help her
piece back the puzzle of her heart

if miracles can happen, please bless the poor ones
the ones who just can't see through their fright
if miracles can happen, please dig down deep
because the earth is full of hurting souls tonight

yes if miracles can happen, please let them happen soon
for those blinded souls that wonder the earth tonight

illusion

no more
sunbeams dancing with laughter
sticky hands and new adventures
no more
mornings running away with the echo of tiny feet
a new year for the first time
no more
bundling up coats and gifts
the worst time of year
no more
picking flowers for little noses
games, problems, stories, hugs
never again
anything at all
good or bad
memories both nourish and devour
after mount everest nothing seems hard
or worthwhile
missing
days climb up to the end in the clouds
i was never good at chutes and latters
missing
past, present, future
beginnings, middles, ends
time itself dissolves into nothingness
missing
them
missing
life
missing
everything