illusion

no more
sunbeams dancing with laughter
sticky hands and new adventures
no more
mornings running away with the echo of tiny feet
a new year for the first time
no more
bundling up coats and gifts
the worst time of year
no more
picking flowers for little noses
games, problems, stories, hugs
never again
anything at all
good or bad
memories both nourish and devour
after mount everest nothing seems hard
or worthwhile
missing
days climb up to the end in the clouds
i was never good at chutes and latters
missing
past, present, future
beginnings, middles, ends
time itself dissolves into nothingness
missing
them
missing
life
missing
everything

I Love You So

i wanted to write you a love song
but i didnt know what to say
everything i think of's been taken
need to find an original way

i could write a song about your eyes baby
i could write a song about your smile
i could write a song bout what you do to me
but you already know you drive me wild
once upon a time i was your princess
but you've already heard that tale before
so i'm just gunna tell you what you already know
baby... i love you so

i bring out a paper and a pen
wait for my heart to open up it's doors
but looks like i got writers block once again
an ocean to swim in
but i'm stuck on the shore

i could write a song about your eyes baby
i could write a song about your smile
i could write a song bout what you do to me
but you already know you drive me wild
once upon a time i was your princess
but you've already heard that tale before
so i'm just gunna tell you what you already know
baby... i love you so

a hundred poets have tried to find the words
a thousand people have felt it
no one seems to be able to get it right
only three little words seem to fit

i could write a song about your eyes baby
i could write a song about your smile
i could write a song bout what you do to me
but you already know you drive me wild
once upon a time i was your princess
but you've already heard that tale before
so i'm just gunna tell you what you already know
baby... i love you so

I Fight Life

you dont know love and you dont know me
or else how could you leave me here to bleed
put on my headphones to drown it all out
all of the shit coming out of your mouth
and im not going to cry...

you don't know hurt and you don't know pain
or else how could you do this to me again
run as fast as i can to get away
from day after horrible day

and i'm not going to cry...
try as i, try as i, try as i might
kick me when im down
when life crumbles to the ground
struggle to stay out of the depths of despair
but i've been there
so i'm not going to cry
try as i, try as i, try as i might
i fight life

you may know spite and you may know anger
but friends like these won't get you anywhere
keep treating people like this and karma will bite you back
when push comes to shove you dont know who keeps track
you may know how to fight and how to get by
but who's going to miss that when you up and die
keep lying and breaking and soon you'll see
you drove away the ones that love you, like me

and i'm not going to cry...
try as i, try as i, try as i might
kick me when im downwhen life crumbles to the ground
struggle to stay out of the depths of despair
but i've been there
so i'm not going to cry
try as i, try as i, try as i might
i fight life

Daydream My Life Away

once upon a fairytale i sat up in my grand castle
where magic bloomed and imagination ran free
now i dig my brain for words, don't understand the hassle
no more pictures in my brain, nothing new appears to me
i sit and wonder, where's my happily ever after

because once upon a few years ago, i could just let go
and the world would fall away, i'm in my special place
where masterpieces drifted, sadness and black was lifted
get lost for hours and i don't want to find my way
day dream my life away

i cant see the future and the past is kinda gone
but put me in today and i got no clue whats going on
so find me in my own world, where i used to have a clue
but then reality interfered, and everything faded blue
now let me get back, lose myself again
let me seep into the world of paper and pen

because once upon a few years ago i could just let go
and the world would fall away, im in my special place
where masterpieces drifted, sadness and black was lifted
get lost for hours and i dont want to find my way
day dream my life away

once upon a time is every girl's favorite line
cause it means a happy ending's on the way
and eventually there will be light
but slip into reality and dreariness is all you'll see
imaginations starts to slip away
and theres no ending at all in sight

but once upon a few years ago i could just let go
and the world would fall away, im in my special place
where masterpieces drifted, sadness and black was lifted
get lost for hours and i dont want to find my way
day dream my life away

ooh once upon a few years ago i could just let go
and the world would fall away, im in my special place
where masterpieces drifted, sadness and black was lifted
get lost for hours and i dont want to find my way
day dream my life away

At Night

During the day
People surround me
My mind’s taken away
From all of the things that i dont like to see
During the day
I try to hide
The real me inside
The me using all her strength not to cry
During the day

But when no one can see me
At night
I’m totally swept away
And i sob as i pray
Because emotions run fast
And i’m stuck in the past
At night
Now i’ve gotta wipe the tears away
Maybe tomorrow will be a better day

During the day
I’m good at pretending
Practised at defending
During the day
Its like hide and seek
But you’ll never find me
Never get a peek
Not during the day

But when no one can see me
At night
I’m totally swept away
And i sob as i pray
Because emotions run fast
And im stuck in the past
At night
Now i’ve gotta wipe the tears away
Maybe tomorrow will be a better day

During the day i jump but at night i crash
My hearts been broken so much is there anything left
And i wish and i wish and i dream and i dream
I still hope and thats why it seems
To hurt so much
When it all comes raining down on me

When no one can see me
At night
I’m totally swept away
Emotions run fast
I’m stuck in the past
At night
Then i’ve gotta wipe the tears away
Maybe tomorrow’ll be a better day